As a stand-up comedian my first instinct is to take a very literal translation of the word ‘politics’. You see literally translated ‘poly’ means many and ‘ticks’ are blood sucking parasites – therefore politics is a collection of many blood sucking parasites.
In actual fact however the word ‘politics’ comes from the Greek word ‘politika’, modeled on Aristotle’s ‘affairs of the city’. Clearly when our own ND Tewari decided to get into politics he was inspired by this definition however it seems he forgot to read beyond the word ‘affairs’. At first when I heard that at the age of eighty-three Mr Tewari was caught with three women one-third his age in a ‘compromising’ position, I was in awe and admiration for the young man. However I later found out that of those three women only one of them was in a compromising position. Of the other two, one was giving him oxygen and the other was pumping his heart.
Aristotle went on to classify States i.e. the polity, into monarchies, aristocracies, oligarchies, timocracies, tyrannies and democracies. A monarchy is a form of government in which sovereignty (the quality of having supreme, independent authority) is actually or nominally embodied in a single individual. An actual monarchy is clearly demonstrated in current day India. The most famous nominal monarchy is of course England. The family of the Queen of England has been a boon to comedians all over the world with Prince Philips penchant for racism (on a state visit to China while addressing British students he said, “If you stay here much longer, you’ll all be slitty-eyed” and to a driving instructor in Scotland he asked, “How do you keep the natives off the booze long enough to get them through the test?”) and Prince Harry’s talent for either making a fool of himself with his clothes on (dressing as a Nazi for a fancy dress party) and with his clothes off (being photographed naked in Vegas).
An aristocracy is a form of government in which a few elite citizens rule and an oligarchy is a form of power in which power effectively rests with a small number of people. Such states are often controlled by a few prominent families who pass their influence from one generation to the next. Once again this is an apt description of current day India! As Indians the only pride we do get to take in our government is when people like Dr APJ Abdul Kalam become president. One of the reasons I think Dr Kalam was the coolest president our country has ever had is because he was the president of India at the same time that George W Bush was the president of the US. So he could have walked into the US and told any person that their president was a dumb fuck. If anyone turned around and said, “Who do you think you are, a rocket scientist?”, he’d just say, “Well actually, yeah!”.
A timocracy is defined by constitutional theory as a state where only property owners may participate in government. Now I can see all of you thinking that once again this sounds like modern day India, but I think Arvind Kejriwal might flip that around and focus on modern day India’s government participating in property ownership instead!
Then we have a tyranny. A tyrant may be defined as one who rules without law, looks to his own advantage rather than that of his subjects and uses extreme and cruel tactics against his own people as well as others. I’m pretty sure that definition could be extended to include blaming rapes on Chinese food and suggesting that women should not be allowed to use mobile phones. Which then makes tyranny sound very close to home as well.
Finally we have democracy - a form of government in which all eligible citizens have an equal say in the decisions that affect their lives. Democracy allows people to participate equally - either directly or through elected representatives - in the proposal, development and creation of laws. It encompasses social, economic and cultural conditions that enable the free and equal practice of political self-determination. India’s greatest achievement in the last 65 years is that we have actually managed to convince the rest of the world that we live in one.
So there you have it. Our fine nation is a monarchy, aristocracy, oligarchy, timocracy, tyranny and a democracy. Thank God Aristotle isn’t alive today. If he were alive in modern day India I think he’d choose to be a stand-up comedian! And we’d have politics to thank for that!
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AFFAIRS OF STATE: Politics from the perspective of a stand-up comedian
As published in the anniversary issue of The Man magazine in December 2012
Written by comedian Papa CJ
Courtesy:PAPA CJ
You can read more such posts HERE
In actual fact however the word ‘politics’ comes from the Greek word ‘politika’, modeled on Aristotle’s ‘affairs of the city’. Clearly when our own ND Tewari decided to get into politics he was inspired by this definition however it seems he forgot to read beyond the word ‘affairs’. At first when I heard that at the age of eighty-three Mr Tewari was caught with three women one-third his age in a ‘compromising’ position, I was in awe and admiration for the young man. However I later found out that of those three women only one of them was in a compromising position. Of the other two, one was giving him oxygen and the other was pumping his heart.
Aristotle went on to classify States i.e. the polity, into monarchies, aristocracies, oligarchies, timocracies, tyrannies and democracies. A monarchy is a form of government in which sovereignty (the quality of having supreme, independent authority) is actually or nominally embodied in a single individual. An actual monarchy is clearly demonstrated in current day India. The most famous nominal monarchy is of course England. The family of the Queen of England has been a boon to comedians all over the world with Prince Philips penchant for racism (on a state visit to China while addressing British students he said, “If you stay here much longer, you’ll all be slitty-eyed” and to a driving instructor in Scotland he asked, “How do you keep the natives off the booze long enough to get them through the test?”) and Prince Harry’s talent for either making a fool of himself with his clothes on (dressing as a Nazi for a fancy dress party) and with his clothes off (being photographed naked in Vegas).
An aristocracy is a form of government in which a few elite citizens rule and an oligarchy is a form of power in which power effectively rests with a small number of people. Such states are often controlled by a few prominent families who pass their influence from one generation to the next. Once again this is an apt description of current day India! As Indians the only pride we do get to take in our government is when people like Dr APJ Abdul Kalam become president. One of the reasons I think Dr Kalam was the coolest president our country has ever had is because he was the president of India at the same time that George W Bush was the president of the US. So he could have walked into the US and told any person that their president was a dumb fuck. If anyone turned around and said, “Who do you think you are, a rocket scientist?”, he’d just say, “Well actually, yeah!”.
A timocracy is defined by constitutional theory as a state where only property owners may participate in government. Now I can see all of you thinking that once again this sounds like modern day India, but I think Arvind Kejriwal might flip that around and focus on modern day India’s government participating in property ownership instead!
Then we have a tyranny. A tyrant may be defined as one who rules without law, looks to his own advantage rather than that of his subjects and uses extreme and cruel tactics against his own people as well as others. I’m pretty sure that definition could be extended to include blaming rapes on Chinese food and suggesting that women should not be allowed to use mobile phones. Which then makes tyranny sound very close to home as well.
Finally we have democracy - a form of government in which all eligible citizens have an equal say in the decisions that affect their lives. Democracy allows people to participate equally - either directly or through elected representatives - in the proposal, development and creation of laws. It encompasses social, economic and cultural conditions that enable the free and equal practice of political self-determination. India’s greatest achievement in the last 65 years is that we have actually managed to convince the rest of the world that we live in one.
So there you have it. Our fine nation is a monarchy, aristocracy, oligarchy, timocracy, tyranny and a democracy. Thank God Aristotle isn’t alive today. If he were alive in modern day India I think he’d choose to be a stand-up comedian! And we’d have politics to thank for that!
-----
AFFAIRS OF STATE: Politics from the perspective of a stand-up comedian
As published in the anniversary issue of The Man magazine in December 2012
Written by comedian Papa CJ
Courtesy:PAPA CJ
It doesn't matter how many people you share this with, just remember if you enjoyed reading it, your friends will love it too.
You can read more such posts HERE
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